


A Zoo Without Cages

by Doctor_Discord



Series: The Ego Manor [38]
Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Bim Fucked Up, Cute, Hilarity Ensues, Magic, Magic Screw-up, Panic, Revenge, This Is STUPID, and it's hilarious, spite
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-03
Updated: 2019-02-02
Packaged: 2019-10-21 01:53:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17633852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Doctor_Discord/pseuds/Doctor_Discord
Summary: Bim Trimmer and Marvin the Magnificent have become good friends since the Christmas party, and the Septic has given Bim a list of spells for him to try out.What could possibly go wrong?The answer: Absolutely EVERYTHING





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As a side note completely unrelated to everything, who else here is a fan of How to Train Your Dragon? Because I saw The Hidden World yesterday and HOLY FUCKING SHIT MY CHRIST AHHHHHHHHHHH THE LAST TWENTY MINUTES OF THAT MOVIE WAS JUST ME SOBBING I CRIED MY GOD...ahem. Anyway, enjoy the story!

Bim hummed to himself in his room, seated at his desk and skimming a piece of notebook paper filled with messy, scribbled handwriting. Marvin the Magnificent, having kept in touch after the Christmas party the egos had hosted, had given him a list of relatively easy spells to try out in order to test the waters with his aura, to see what he could handle.

His eyes lit up when he reached the relative bottom of the page, spotting a pretty long, complicated-looking spell written in what appeared to be Latin along with some instructions on how to work his aura. What really caught his eye was the short description next to it – all of the spells had one, though most were not _this_ brief: _‘Transforms shit’._

“Ooh!” Bim’s face split in an eager smile. “Vague _and_ complicated! Perfect place to start off!”

He set the paper down and pushed away from his desk, rolling his chair across the room and spinning to face his dresser. “Okay, what to choose, what to choose…in other words, what don’t I give a shit about anymore…” He scanned the random items he’d amassed on his dresser, eventually selecting an old mug he never took back to the kitchen (Dark was going to kill him if he found out), a ceramic figurine of a unicorn (where did he even _get_ that?!), and an old snow globe he never remembered buying but have had for years.

Wheeling back to his desk, he set the mug down first, setting the other objects to the side for now, and picked back up the piece of paper. Squinting at it, he followed the instructions to the letter, able to feel his aura wisp around him though it was still far too weak to manifest. When he glanced back at the mug however, it was no different, still sitting innocently on his desk. “Wait, what the Hell?” Bim read the spell over again, confirming that he did everything right. “Okay hold up.” He tried again, but the result was the same. His brow furrowed, and he moved on to the figurine. Again nothing happened. He tried with the snow globe. Nothing. He tried all three at once. _Nothing_.

Letting out a frustrated groan, he thumped his forehead against the desk. “Fucking leave it to Marvin to give me a broken spell! _Great_.” Sighing, he pushed away from his desk once more, standing up with slumped posture. He could feel his aura twitching around him; he’d overworked it, leaving him exhausted. Stretching, he grabbed the mug and made his way to the kitchen, rubbing at his eyes with his free hand.

However, he never made it to the kitchen. The second he walked into the living area, he dropped the mug in surprise, mouth falling open in surprise. “Oh _fuck_.”

The living area was a _mad house_. A variety of _animals_ were in varying stages of distress scattered about the room, ranging from cats to a fucking _beaver_. He fisted his hands in his hair when he spotted the sleek black cat sitting on the coffee table with an air of regal grace, staring at him with narrowed, black eyes and a red and blue outline surrounding it. “Oh no no no no no, no, please don’t tell me…” He swallowed harshly, taking a hesitant step forward and dropping his hands. “…Dark…?”

The cat’s tail twitched, flicking its – _his_ – ear and tilting his head.

“Oh _shit!_ ” Bim’s hands shot back to his hair as he scanned the room: including Dark, there were four cats, five dogs of varying size and breeds, a beautiful red squirrel (obviously King), a snake, a hedgehog, and a fucking _beaver_. A beige cat with vacant sockets that could only be the Host was _losing his shit_ on the couch, hissing with his back arched and fur fluffed out, tail lashing wildly and whipping his head every which way, ears twitching nonstop. Bim couldn’t tell if the red streaks running down his face were fur designs or blood. Another cat, this one white with a grey patch on his forehead, curled up close to the Host, pressing himself against his side and purring loudly. Peggy, the only _actual_ animal in the room, came out of nowhere, climbing up the couch to press against the Host’s other side, the two gradually calming him down.

Bim drew a deep breath, closing his eyes briefly. “Alright, everyone _calm down_. I-I’ll fix this. But first, let me do a headcount so I know who and _what_ everyone is. Dark, I know you.” The black cat’s tail flicked. “Wilford?” A huge golden retriever raised his head from where he was trying to reach Dark on the coffee table, staring at Bim with the same mad glint Wilford always had. Bim snorted at the sight of the dog, considering he was also _bright fucking pink_. “Okay, that’s obvious. Uh, Eric?”

A little Yorkshire terrier puppy, no bigger than Peggy was, yipped at him from the floor, and Bim’s heart promptly melted. “Oh my God. Can I pick you up?” The terrier appeared to nod his head, and Bim scooped him up in his hands. “Oh my God Eric you are literally the cutest Goddamn thing I have ever seen. You fit in my palm! Hold on.” He held open his suit’s breast pocket, the one typically used for handkerchiefs, and tucked Eric inside so his head and front paws poked out. “That okay?” Eric yipped again, and Bim continued on.

“Okay, King, you’re easy. You’re also very pretty!” King chattered at him, climbing up his leg to perch on his shoulder. “Up next would be…Ed?” The snake slithered to face him in an obvious glare, hissing at him. Bim cringed back. “Fuck, alright then. Bing?” A large husky with bright yellow-orange eyes raised his head from where he’d been antagonizing a light grey cat with white patches and neon blue eyes. “And you must be Google. Hold up, are you two still robots?” Bing let out a surprisingly loud bark, sitting at Bim’s feet while Google continued to simply glare. Bim ruffled through Bing’s fur, _extremely_ soft, but then his fingers hit the weird silicone feel of Bing and Google’s synthetic skin and he drew back. “That answers that question. _Weird_. You guys aren’t gonna fry or anything, right?” Google appeared to shrug as best as a cat could, still staring with his piercing blue eyes.

Bim cleared his throat. “Host?” The Host swiveled his head in Bim’s general direction, fur still standing on end, claws still digging into the couch and still crouched in a defensive position, but was significantly calmer than earlier with the two other cats sandwiching him between them. “Dr. Iplier?” The white cat next to the Host turned to stare at him briefly before turning back to the Host, rubbing his cheek along the blind ego’s, smearing his own fur with red. Blood it was, then.

“Silver?” The hedgehog, previously curled into a tight, defensive ball on one of the recliners, unfurled, twitching his nose and glancing at Bim before curling back up. Bim sighed. “Oh dear, alright, Jims?” The two retriever puppies who had been spending the entire time chasing each other in a wide, playful circle came skidding to a halt at Bim’s feet, shoving Bing out of the way and yapping happily both at each other and him, panting with what could only be described as wide smiles. “Okay, lastly, Reynolds?” At last the _fucking beaver_ looked up, fidgeting with his hands – paws? Whatever – and slapping his tail against the floor.

Bim backed away slowly, raising his hands placatingly. “Okay, alright…okay. I’m just…I’m gonna make a call, and we should be good. I’ll fix this, I promise. Okay? Okay…” He pretty much bolted back to his room, nearly sending King flying off his shoulder, and scrambled for his phone, pressing the contact and tapping his foot impatiently as it rang. Eric whimpered softly in his pocket, and unconsciously Bim raised his other hand to pet his head, soothing him.

_"_ _Hello?”_

“Marvin I fucked up.” Bim began to pace, running his head through his hair. He was on the border of hysterics, he could tell. “You need to get over here. Now, preferably.”

_“What – Bim, I can’t just drop everything! What did you do?”_

“I was messing with the list of spells you gave me and _somehow_ I turned every single other ego in this house into an animal! _Please_ come over here and help me fix it!”

There was dead silence on the other end of the line. Bim almost though Marvin had hung up, and then he spoke: _“I’ll be there in five minutes.”_

“Oh thank God! See you then!” Bim hung up, then raced back the living area. “Hey – _what the fuck_?! Ed, get away from Silver, Goddammit, you’re gonna freak him out!” Bim lifted the writhing snake away from the trembling hedgehog, draping him around his neck as King relocated to the top of his head. “I swear, if you bite me, Ed, just remember that your head is a lot smaller and a lot weaker than my foot in this form.” Ed simply hissed, wrapping around his arm slightly for more support. Bim sighed. “Okay, to clarify; you guys still have your normal human brain and thoughts in there, you’re just…stuck.” Every animal he could currently see nodded, minus Peggy of course. He rubbed at his eyes, groaning loudly. “Oh _fuck me_ , I am so sorry! This was _not_ intentional, but help is coming okay! You’ll be back to normal soon…I hope.”

Bing butted his head against his hand and unconsciously Bim scratched at it, running his hand down his fur. Bing practically melted, collapsing to the floor and rolling onto his back, making a weird, happy, rumbling noise, tongue lolling out of his mouth. Google rolled his eyes, curling into a ball and covering his nose with his tail while Bim’s face split in an amused grin. “Wow. You…really liked that. You’re fucking weird, Bing.”

Bing rolled back onto his stomach, letting out that ‘boof’ noise big dogs do, and then suddenly both Jims were attacking him, climbing all over him and butting him playfully. Bing was all too eager to join in their game, immediately crouching down with his tail wagging and nipping at the two puppies playfully. Bim laughed at their antics, watching them roughhouse and run all over the living area. At least, until Bing’s bigger body threatened to knock over an end table, the vase Bim was positive was older than the manor itself perched on it rocking slightly. Instantly both Wilford’s and Dark’s attention snapped to them, Dark’s back arching and a low, warning growl vibrating in his throat. Wilford wandered over, taking ahold of one of the Jims’ scruffs in his mouth and promptly depositing him on the nearest loveseat, repeating the process with the other one. Bing whined, clearly put out, and bent down to the floor, hiding his eyes with his paws.

It was then that the doorbell rang, and everyone froze. Bim shook his head, taking off in a sprint toward the door and practically slamming it open to reveal Marvin standing there, hands shoved in his pockets. “Oh thank God! Get in here, quick!”

He grabbed the collar of the Septic’s shirt and pulled him inside. “Whoa! Calm down, Bim! I get it, you’re freaked, but I doubt there’s a rush!”

Bim glared at him, reaching up one hand to stroke Eric’s head, more to soothe himself than the young ego. “You haven’t had a furious Darkiplier glaring at you for God knows how long.”

“Fair enough.” Marvin crossed his arms, raising an eyebrow. “So who’s that in your pocket there?”

Bim smiled, looking down at the Yorkie. “Eric.”

“The snake?”

“Ed.”

Marvin huffed, glancing up. “And I can assume the squirrel sitting on your head is King.”

“You would be correct. Come on. Everyone else is in here.”

“Lead the way.”


	2. Chapter 2

Bim wrung his hands anxiously, waiting for Marvin to finish scanning the room. He could feel the magician’s aura sweeping every corner, washing over him and everyone else. He currently had Silver resting in his lap as he sat on the couch, adding to the variety of animals already occupying his body. Finally, Marvin opened his eyes, dropping his arms and sighing, aura fading from the room. “Alright, so I’ve got good news and bad news.”

Bim flinched as Dark and Google’s eyes settled on him once more. How were they _more_ threatening as cats?! “Good news first please.”

Marvin gave him an odd look. “Good news is it’s not permanent!”

Bim ran a hand down Silver’s quills, surprisingly soft. “And…the bad news?”

Marvin sighed again. “Bad news is I can’t fix it. They’re stuck like this, at least for now. I don’t know what the fuck you did, Bim, but it’ll fade in roughly eighteen or so hours. They’ll be fine in the morning.” The Septic spun on his heel, hands on his hips. “Well, that’s my cue to leave! You’ve got this covered, buddy, I believe in you!”

And then he bolted.

Bim scrambled to his feet, setting Silver down before running after him. “Oh no you don’t, you’re staying here!” He grabbed Marvin’s ear, pulling him back to the living area and ignoring his pained cry. “You’re not abandoning me, this is your fault, too!”

Marvin jerked free, one hand cupping his ear. “ _Ow!_ Fucking _my_ fault? How is this _my_ fault, _you’re_ the one that fucked up!”

“Yes, and I was following _your_ instructions! You gave me the spell in the first place! Thus, partial blame!” Bim shot him a wicked grin, and Marvin grumbled under his breath.

“Fine! Fine, I’ll stay. Whatever. I am not staying the night though! JJ would _kill_ me.”

“Deal.” Bim surveyed the room, Ed slowing slithering down his body and back onto the floor. The Host and Dr. Iplier were both dead to the world on the couch, curled tightly around one another with Peggy, also sleeping, sandwiched between them. One of the Jim puppies had pinned the other to the loveseat Wilford had set them on, nipping at him gently while the pinned one writhed, yipping and snapping back playfully. Wilford himself was surprisingly calm, splayed out beneath a window in a beam of sunlight, Dark curled up on top of him, though his cracked open eye betrayed the cat’s attentiveness.

A strangled meowing noise called both of their attentions to Google. Specifically, Bing trying to _lick_ Google, the older android perching on the back of the loveseat the Jims weren’t occupying in an attempt to escape the hyperactive husky. Unfortunately for him, Bing leapt up onto the loveseat, pinning Google between his paws and licking all over his face and head. Google growled low in his throat, but Bing resolutely ignored him, looking as smug as a dog could.

Bim smacked a palm to his forehead. “What do we do now?”

He saw Marvin open his mouth to reply, but then Bim was hitting the floor with something _big_ on top of him and all he could see was pink. And then a fucking _tongue_ was all over his face, and he spluttered, curling his legs up and attempting to shove the other off. “Gah! Wilford, get _off_ , that’s fucking _gross_!” He spluttered again, and Wilford’s tongue ‘accidentally’ slipped into his mouth (whether it truly was an accident was yet to be confirmed). Bim promptly gagged, shoving the hot pink retriever off him and backing against the couch, furiously wiping at his face, and glaring daggers at Marvin, who was cackling madly, and flipping Wilford off, the dog sitting before him and smiling that stupid dog smile, panting. Even Eric was staring up at him with a little smile.

Bim flinched when something brushed his ear. He glanced up, grimacing when he spotted Dark sitting by his head on the couch, tail swishing and outline shimmering. “Great. A demon cat and a mentally unbalanced dog, and both of them pissed at me. I’m not gonna survive the day.”

Marvin’s laughter died off, and he turned away to lift his mask and wipe at his eyes. “You deserve it, you know! Bet it’s not too much fun being locked up in those bodies!”

Bim scowled. “Shut up! You’re supposed to be on my side!”

The magician scoffed. “I am _not!_ I’m only still here because _you_ won’t let me leave!”

Bim huffed. “Asshole.” Something sharp batted at his ear again and he ducked down, slapping a hand over his ear and glancing up at the high-and-mighty black cat. “ _Ow!_ Dark! You’re a hundred-something year old demon! Aren’t you more mature than that?” Dark simply rolled his eyes, stalking away and disappearing through a small tear in the Void and reappearing next to Reynolds, scaring the beaver half to death. Bim paled significantly. “Oh great. The demon cat still has his powers. I am so _very_ dead.”

Marvin snorted. “You’ll be fine, Bim. Animals or no, they’re still your family. They won’t hurt you. At least, not _too_ badly.”

“Real helpful, Marv! Besides, I haven’t got the _faintest_ fucking clue how to take care of Goddamn _dog_ , let alone a snake, a hedgehog, and a fucking _beaver_!” He fisted his hands in his hair, pulling his knees up to his chest. “ _Seriously_ , Reynolds! Could you _not_ have been something easier to handle?!”

“Hey hey hey, don’t blame the beaver, Mercury, it’s your Goddamn fault! So just _calm down_! We’ll handle this, alright?” Marvin crouched down next to him, placing a hand on his shoulder. “It’ll be okay.”

“Yeah, okay.” Bim was trying _desperately_ to hold back his meltdown. Still he dropped his hands, running the back of his index finger over Eric’s head. He spotted two tiny red paws hanging off his knee, and then King’s head was poking up, the little squirrel scrambling onto his knee. Bim laughed as he chattered, circling a few times, and he scooped him into his palms, holding him up to his face. “Aww, are you jealous, King? Don’t worry; you’re still my favorite.” King made a strange chirruping noise, and Bim laughed again, rubbing the top of his head with his thumb. King instantly melted in his hands, purring loudly and tail vibrating. Bim grinned, momentarily able to ignore his panic. “Oh, you like that now? What happens if I do this?” He raked his thumbnail behind King’s ear and this time he _literally_ melted, collapsing in Bim’s hold with his eyes closed, his whole body vibrating now.

Bim stood, still cradling the happily purring King, and surveyed the disaster of the living area. Silver had somehow made it to the floor, and Ed was slowly circling around him, trapping him with his body and making the poor hedgehog freak. Bing had flopped over onto the loveseat, head nestled between his paws and Google snuggled against his side, purring softly. The Host was still completely passed out on the couch, hugging Peggy close to his chest as if she were his own kitten, while Dr. Iplier idly licked at his cheeks, cleaning away the blood and still taking care of him, all three cats purring loudly in their furry snuggle pile. The Jims had fallen asleep on top of each other, one draped over the other, and making small whines and yips in their sleep, occasionally kicking out and burying deeper into the other. Reynolds had taken shelter under the coffee table, covering his eyes with his hands and making some weird whining-grunting noise.

He pulled Eric out of his pocket, the little Yorkie sitting in the palm of his hand and smiling at him, panting, with King still completely out of it in the other. He glanced at Marvin, grinning madly. “We’ve got a fucking zoo to take care of. You ready?”

Marvin laughed, shaking his head with his hands on his hips. “Absolutely fucking not.”

“Me neither. Let’s get started.”


	3. Chapter 3

When Bim woke up the next morning, the first thing he noticed was that _everything_ hurt.

Everyone had been pretty well-behaved yesterday, seemingly just wanting to wait out whatever spell Bim had accidentally cast. At least, until Marvin left at sundown. Bing and Wilford had _immediately_ tackled him, Bing draping himself across his legs with Wilford across his chest and arms, pinning him to the floor. Complete stuck underneath the huge, respectively mechanical and psychopathic canines, Bim was helpless to the others’ whims: the Host resolved to stand directly above him, staring down at him with vacant sockets and apparently trying to make him as uncomfortable as possible, Silver had stolen his glasses, making way for Reynolds to hit him _repeatedly_ in the face with his tail. When Reynolds was done, Ed had wound himself around his neck and mouth, effectively shutting him up with the snake’s head positioned by Bim’s ear, his tongue flicking out occasionally and keeping him more uncomfortable and on edge. While all that was happening, Google and Dark were slowly and meticulously shredding his pant legs, forcing him to remain stiff in order to avoid cat claws buried in his legs. Dr. Iplier had settled in the space between Bing and Wilford, purring with his eyes closed, while the Jims nipped and tugged on his hands, their sharp puppy teeth digging into his skin. King and Eric just sat back, not participating but not _helping_ either, leaving Bim with the mindset of ‘ _Great. If my boyfriend and surrogate son are reveling in my suffering, then I have no hope’_ until everyone simultaneously stepped away _much_ later and he raced to his room.

The next thing he noticed was that King – normal, _human_ King – was fast asleep on top of him, face tucked into the crook of his neck and breathing deeply.

“Oh thank _fuck!_ ” King started awake with a surprised noise, and then Bim was flipping them over and planting his lips on the other’s, cupping his face between both hands. He pulled back, running a hand through King’s hair and pressing their foreheads together briefly. “Christ, I am so… _so_ sorry, King! I didn’t mean to, I swear!”

“Wha – Bim, it’s okay!” King smiled sleepily up at him, rubbing at his eyes with the back of one hand. “I, personally, didn’t mind it! Though it is nice to be able to talk again.”

Bim laughed, pressing another kiss to King’s forehead and running his fingers through the other’s hair, raking his nails behind his ear. King let out a blissful sigh, eyes fluttering shut and melting beneath Bim, and the game show host gave a devious smile. “Found a weak spot, have I?” He did it again, and King hummed, leaning into the touch, though he cracked one eye open.

“You’re stalling. You have to go meet the others _some_ time.”

Bim snorted, though he shifted nervously. “I can avoid them all I like. I’d rather _not_ be murdered, thanks.”

King hummed again, relaxing under Bim’s touch, his voice taking on a sing-song lilt. “You’re only making it worse the longer you make Dark stew over it! I’m sure he’s had _plenty_ of time to come up with some _very_ creative ideas.”

Bim grumbled under his breath, finally rolling off King. “Damn you and your common sense! Fine, but you’re coming with me!” He grabbed his hand, practically dragging the poor, still half-asleep King out of bed and down the hall where he assumed everyone had gathered in the living area. Unfortunately or fortunately (depending on how you looked at it), he had assumed correct, and he stopped just short of entering the room, hiding behind the wall. And then King shoved him, sending him stumbling into view.

Bim froze, smiling sheepishly and waving one hand. “Hi.”

Dark and Wilford exchanged twin looks, both smirking at him with crossed arms, and Bim swallowed nervously, scanning the others in the room. Everyone was looking pretty human, except for the Jims, who still sported dog ears, and Dr. Iplier, who still had a white, fluffy cat tail swishing behind him, something the Host found _highly_ amusing if the hand over his mouth and his muffled snickers were anything to go by. The one _easily_ the most pissed about the whole scenario was Google; the android was staring at him with his eyes glowing brightly, nearly blinding, and his lips upturned in a dangerous smile that had Bim shifting and avoiding his gaze. “Um, first off, I would like to reiterate that I am _extremely_ sorry and I –”

“Oh we know.” Bim flinched when Dark cut him off. The demon cocked his head to the side, beginning to pick what Bim had a sneaking suspicion were pieces of fabric out his nails. “You kept saying that all day yesterday. Frankly, you’d have to completely moronic to not be apologetic.”

“Okay, dude, before you freak, none of us actually really care.” Bing offered him a bright smile. “I actually really enjoyed it! None of us are super pissed, at least not anymore after our little revenge stunt last night. Well, except Google, but that’s just because the transformation back jacked up his voice box and I haven’t got it working again yet.” Google scowled at the younger, to which Bing responded with another warm smile and a kiss on his cheek, and Bim just seemed to wither further.

“However –” Dark began again. “– you still need to be punished.” He finally met Bim’s eyes, his own glowing red and blue respectively, and broke into a wide smile showing _far_ too much teeth. “I believe turnabout is fair play, don’t you?”

Dark stood, slowly approaching, and Bim back up in time, matching him step for step. At least, until two, surprisingly strong hands gripped his biceps from behind, holding him in place. Bim looked over his shoulder, spotting King’s apologetic smile, and he shot his boyfriend a betrayed look before Dark was looming over him, rapidly snapping his attention back to him. Bim gulped, shrinking in King’s grip. “Okay, n-now hold on, aren’t you overreacting? Just a bit? Maybe? Are you sure we can’t just forget about this and move on?”

Dark simply raised an eyebrow, and Ed snorted from his recliner, perched in that weird position with his legs dangling over the armrest. “Hey Bim! Do yourself a favor and _shut up_ for once!” Dark chuckled at his words, and Bim shrunk back further.

“Oh I am so fucking dead.”

Dark laughed a little louder. “No, not quite. Though you _are_ going to be spending the next eighteen hours as an animal. Now hold still.” The demon pressed his palm to Bim’s forehead, and there was a puff of black smoke, then Bim was no longer human.

King snorted out a laugh, slapping both hands over his mouth, and Dark raised an eyebrow. “Huh. Could’ve predicted that one.” He turned around, revealing the deep purple cockatoo covered in white spots with silver glitter coating his feathers perched on his finger.

Wilford was the first to burst into laughter next, falling back onto the couch from his spot on the armrest, flat on his back with his legs curled up to his chest and giggling incessantly. The others were quick to follow, and Bim flapped his wings, taking off in order to find a spot higher up and letting out an indignant squawk when Peggy – previously unseen in the folds of the Host’s coat – took a running leap off the blind ego’s lap in order to bat at his tail, sending everyone into another roaring fit of laughter.

Bim finally settled on top of a bookshelf, ruffling his feathers and giving off the distinct impression that he was embarrassed. Dark flashed him another grin. “Enjoy your new form, Bim! It’ll wear off…eventually.” Bim let out another squawk, nestling further into himself, and Dark spun on his heel, leading everyone into the kitchen for breakfast.

_Note to self: Don’t fuck around with Marvin’s spells._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I fucking LOVE this story, this is so stupid and dorky and fucking BIM I just. There will definitely be more 'Bim fucks up at magic' stories in the future, they're too much fun NOT to write, this was amazing. ALSO, here's the link to the image I based Bird Bim off of, because if this thing doesn't just SCREAM my flamboyant son I don't know what does: http://itsnature.org/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/crest.jpg  
> Anyway, as always, I hope you enjoyed this story! You guys should prepare yourselves for Wednesday. If you stalk the egos as much as I do, you may know what that story is about, and you'll also know it won't be pretty. See ya then!


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